I had the most freeing feeling this past week. I felt the freedom to rest and let my husband make choices that he felt the Lord leading him to make. It was an amazing feeling! Ever since we moved (1 year ago already!), I have been on an up and down ride of feeling confident of my husband’s choices and then feeling less confident. This was the first time that God showed me (or maybe it was just the first time I was paying attention) that it wasn’t about my man’s decisions… it was about my perspective.
You and I have had some good, deep heart searching here when it comes to intentionality and being a gracious wife. We learned that we have to choose to build into our husbands and speak life through respect. Today, I want to share with you how God shifted my perspective on this issue … it was as if angels started singing! Seriously, girl, I found me some freedom that I am going to cling tightly to “until death do us part!”
There is intentionality and there is grace – but more importantly, there is God
Ok, I’m just going to come out with it. Are you ready? My perspective needs to be that God loves my husband. Pretty simple, right? Let me explain. My husband makes mistakes, just like me. He has great victories in life, just like me. He is walking with God through life, just like me; growing, just like me. He has the same grace, love, acceptance, and inheritance as me because he is in Christ, just like I am. So as I am learning about how deeply God loves me, and how that plays out in my day to day life, I can apply all of those truths to my “better half” as well!
What does that boil down to?
As I walk through my day, knowing that my spouse is deeply loved and cherished by God, then I can know that God will be faithful to guide him – and by extension, our family. If my husband decides to lead us in a way that I’m unsure of, or hadn’t considered before, I can choose to trust God! Because God loves him more than I ever could.
(Please understand that I mean this as my perspective on my husband’s final choices, after we’ve discussed and worked through both of our opinions – if we have differing opinions – on the matter. We do make decisions as a couple, but at the end of the day he is the one with the final say and he is the one accountable before God for our family. It is with all of that in mind that I can focus on my perspective and attitude toward where he leads us forward.)
Experiencing Uncommon Rest
Imagine how this perspective would transform your life today. Imagine having total rest in God and peace that He is in control. Sometimes, being a respectful and gracious wife is just plain hard. But believing that God loves your husband enough to guide and protect him… now that’s more pleasant perspective, isn’t it? AND, IT FREES US UP TO STOP TRYING TO HELP GOD OUT IN THEIR LIVES! God’s got this!
That’s the sweet freedom that I’ve felt this past week. I felt free to listen to my husband share his heart; not worrying what choices he was making for our family. Freedom to get excited with him as God moves and works in his life. Freedom to support and respect him as a husband and father. Freedom to let God be God, and only concern myself with being a wife. And do you know what? That gave me more time, energy, and desire to be a wife [on purpose] and to wife [with grace]! It was all about a different perspective!
Where are you at on this path today? How can you find freedom by trusting in God’s fierce love for your spouse? Wouldn’t you enjoy some more freedom?? Believe me, it’s a wonderful feeling!
p.s. I am still praying through the prayer that I wrote for my hubby! The only difference today is that I now rest in God’s perfect love for him to answer those prayers in the way that’s best for him, instead of from selfish motives. Because what God says is best for my man will also be best for me and our kiddos. Awesome!